The Invasion of Bikini bottom
by Linda J
Summary: Zim will search the world over to find his antigravitation apparatus, even to the bottom of the sea. An Invader Zim Spongebob crossover.
1. Chapter 1

The Invasion of Bikini Bottom

By Linda J.

RATED: PG

SUMMARY: Invader Zim/Spongebob Squarepants crossover. What more do you need?

DISCLAIMER: They ain't mine; this won't make me any money.

CH1

"Didn't get it?" Purple tried to sound earnestly concerned for Zim's dilemma. Red meanwhile stood off in the back ground snickering. "I don't understand, we sent it to your new address six to eight weeks ago."

"New address?" Zim seemed more than just a little confused as he stood at attention looking up into the monitor that hung far above his head. "I haven't moved. I'm still here at the exact same spot where I landed."

"Oh?" Purple now began to giggle as Red just gave up altogether and started laughing heartedly out loud. "Well then why did you fill out a change of address form?"

"But I didn't," Zim tried to explain.

"Silence!" Purple barked. "You dare question me?"

"Uh, no my tallest…" Zim meekly replied, appearing to be completely oblivious to the riotous laughter coming from just off screen. "It's just that it's imperative I obtain this anti-gravitation apparatus you sold to me; it's the very key to my latest evil plan to conquer this wretched world for my… ah, our glory."

"Wah. Wah, wah," Purple cruelly mocked. "We did our part by sending the anti-gravitation apparatus. It's your responsibility to be at the address we sent it to." Purple abruptly ended the transmission as he and Red leader then laughed so hard they were both holding their sides.

Zim stood there silently staring at the monitor hoping that at any moment Purple would come back on screen and tell him it was all a joke. Purple and Red had indeed played a joke but sadly it would not end the way Zim stood there hoping for.

Reluctantly he finally gave up waiting and yelled out to his computer. "Computer!"

"Yes, sir," Zim's computer responded in a less than enthused tone.

"About six to eight weeks ago an extremely important package was sent to me from our home world. With it, I will alter Earth's gravity and cause everything on this useless rock to float away into the coldness of space." He paused there for a brief moment relishing the thought of seeing all these petty humans, especially that big headed Dib, screaming their lungs out as they slowly rose into the atmosphere and eventually beyond it.

"I need you to scan this entire planet and find its exact location," he went on. "It will undoubtedly be a very large package so it should be very easy for you to find."

After a few moments of scanning the computer came back with the results. "There is no detection of any large packages sent from Irk within the past six to eight weeks Master."

"What!" Zim was infuriated. "How dare you tell me you can not locate the package? You are completely worthless! What do you think I pay you for?"

"Pay me!" For being a computer it sounded pretty irate. "You don't pay me anything; including attention most of the time!"

"Don't sass me, I am your Master; I AM ZIM!" The little green man ranted then began pacing the floor.

"Gir!" he then barked and in an instant his little robot stood at attention in front of him; saluting his Master with red glowing eyes. "At your service Master."

"See if _you_ can locate this package the great tallest leaders personally sent to me." The robot's eyes suddenly went from red to cyan as he cheerfully chirped, "Oakey-dokey Master!"

Zim rolled his eyes and smacked his head in frustration. Only a second or two went by when the now red eyed Gir snapped to attention. "Insufficient data to process request master."

"Insufficient data!" Zim wildly yelled. "What more data would you require? It's a really, really big package; it came from Irk about six to eight weeks ago and I WANT IT NOWWWW! That's all you should need to know!"

"Are you sure about the size of this anti-gravitation apparatus? Perhaps the package isn't so big after all Master?" Computer interrupted.

"Quiet computer I trying to think!" he snapped as he rubbed his temples talking to himself out loud. "Hmmm…Perhaps I was wrong about the size of this package. Perhaps it is like me, small but full of great and devastating power!"

"Brilliant deduction Master," Zim's computer mocked.

"Of course it is, I thought of it!" Zim arrogantly boasted never catching computer's sarcastic tone.

"Look for my package again Gir, but this time look for a package of any size or weight to come from Irk within the past six to eight weeks." Zim was now certain his package would be found and soon after giving the command a very perky Gir began to jump up and down.

"I found it, I found it!" the quirky robot then fell to the floor and started to roll around giggle like a maniac.

"Gir, stop that nonsense at once!" Zim barked roughly stomping his foot on the floor. "Tell me where my package is this instant!"

"It's ummm…far away," Gir said with an awkward grin.

"So?" Zim snapped rudely. "Oh never mind, just get in the Voot cruiser and take me there."

"Yippie! We're going on a field trip; we're going on a field trip!" Gir began dance and sing for joy as he made his way to the cruiser.


	2. Chapter 2

CH2

They hadn't been in the Voot cruiser very long before Zim noticed they were traveling over one of earth's vast oceans. "It just seems to go on forever," he quietly thought aloud as Gir steered the ship.

"Peculiar planet -this earth," Zim began to monolog. "Its sun is so bright, one of the hottest suns I've ever known and yet two thirds of it is covered in water, not to mention the environment can't even seem to make up its mind; mountains, grassy flat plains, barren deserts, artic glaciers and all this water!"

Gir looked down at the ocean as well, "I think it's boo-o-te-full."

"You would," Zim said meaning to sneer but for reasons even he couldn't explain it came out sounding more like he was agreeing with him. This sudden and unexpected moment of honesty made Zim feel quite uncomfortable and he eagerly changed the subject.

"Where is my anti-gravitation apparatus anyway?"

"Down there," Gir merely explained.

Zim looked down but saw only water; miles and miles of water. He squinted his eyes straining to see anything else and could just barely make out a tiny island with three palm trees. "You mean to tell me that 'the tallest' sent my package to that pitiful patch of ground stuck out here in the middle of the ocean?"

"What makes you think that Master?" Gir wondered. Just then Zim felt the cruiser was gradually decreasing in altitude.

"Gir," Zim cautiously began to ask. "My anti-gravitation apparatus isn't underwater is it?"

"Ugh-huh," the happy little robot replied. "O-o-h look, dolphins!"

"Gir, stop looking at the dolphins, we have something much more serious to worry about. Why didn't you tell me we would have to travel underwater to get my package?"'

"You didn't ask," Gir reminded him then immediately took a nose dive. "Now hold your nose 'cause we're going in!"

"No Gir, the Voot cruiser won't take the incredible pressure of the deep sea!" Zim yelled in a panic.

"We'll be crushed like a can of…of…of something or another; I even doubt its waterpr,oh no!" he interrupted himself as he saw sea water was slowing starting to leak in the cabin. "Gir, use yourself to protect me from that toxic earth ocean water!"

Girs eyes blazed bright red, "Yes sir, on it!" then in an instant his eyes were cyan again. "I'll just open the door and let the water out."

"Gir stop! Don't open that…" But Zim gave the command too late and the sea began to rush in flooding the cruiser entirely. The green alien quickly activated his invisible helmet allowing him to freely breathe while his spider legs began to whirl in circles like propellers.

'I'm doomed, doomed so very, very doomed!' he whimpered to himself as he desperately swam upward. He never noticed that Gir was swimming in the opposite direction and heading down to the ocean bed. He reached the surface and popped his head out of the water and he looked for that tiny three palm tree island and starting swimming toward it. Once on dry land he retracted his arachnid legs and waited for Gir to follow him.

"Gir!" he yelled into his comlink but got no response. Impatiently he began to pace back and forth on the beach which took only twelve steps in any given direction.

'What if this planet's toxic ocean water corroded his circuits?' Zim began to find himself worrying about the annoying little guy as well as his own horrific predicament.

"I can't believe this is happening to me," he began to rant to no one there. "I'm miles away from my tech; my cruiser is somewhere at the bottom of the ocean by now, Gir is missing, and I'm still without my anti-gravitation apparatus." He continued to call for Gir and pace the beach, waiting for some answer to this problem to present itself.

"I could just dive back in and look for the cruiser; oh but that would be suicide. I could drown, I could be eaten by a shark, a giant squid could grab me and drag me away to her nest and feed me to her squidlings…"

"…Squidlings?" he stopped his pacing and cocked his eyebrow tapping his chin as he thought to himself. "That doesn't sound right, does it? Hmmm, what do squids call their young? They do have young right? Of course they do; wonder if they have live births or do they lay eggs?" Zim quietly pondered this essentially useless question until he realized that he had wasted nearly all afternoon just standing there doing nothing. "…or I can just spend the rest of my life stuck here on this patch of nowhere."

Bravely he walked over to the edge of the beach to jump in but scurried away the moment a wave hit the beach.

"Aghh! It's gonna burn, I just know it will!" But his situation was dire so again he tried, and failed.

'That was just practice,' he told himself; so he tried again and again until he was finally ready to heroically complete this mission. Well that's how he remembered it anyway. What really happened was about after twenty times of running to and fro Zim slipped on the wet sand and was knocked out cold, the waves came onto the beach and dragged him off to sea. Now that he was already in he decided he might as well going looking for his cruiser, and maybe with a bit of luck find his anti-gravitation apparatus, and he supposed he could look for Gir too.


	3. Chapter 3

CH3

Gir never seemed to have any trouble making friends. Everywhere he went his childlike wonder gave him a special kind of edge that most people adored; or at the very least tolerated. But edge or not, one way or another people did see the little robot as –special and the inhabitants of the under-water-world were not immune to his charms.

He walked along the "shores" of Goo Lagoon humming a cheery little melody to a song which no one but him knew. He saw a group of assorted aquatic life vigorously playing a game of volleyball and decided to stop and watch. For a while no one seemed to notice him standing there; that is until he jumped up and caught the ball in mid air with his metal mouth, then spit it out and began to hug it like a teddy bear.

"Who's the new guy?" Larry the Lobster whispered distastefully to Sandy the Squirrel who had been practicing her karate. By now everyone was staring strangely at Gir who didn't seem to mind in the least. Sandy, being the bravest citizen in Bikini Bottom, trotted over to the little robot and proudly introduced herself.

"Howdy!" she held out her hand to him. "My name is Sandy. Sandy Cheeks! What's yours little fella?" Gir's eyes turned red the second he stopped hugging the volleyball and he stood at attention. "Gir; I am here to retrieve an important package for my master Zim!" then he threw the ball to a fish that was "standing" by hard enough to knock the fish to the ground. Suddenly however his eyes turned cyan and instead of shaking Sandy's hand, he sniffed it.

"You're sweet," he purred. "Like mayonnaise! Ooh, I'm gonna eat my sandwich now."

Gir then opened the top of his head a grabbed the sandwich he had inside, only to have it instantly turn to mush and float away into tiny soggy pieces. The little robot then began to bitterly sob. "Wah!"

"Oh don't cry little guy," Sandy tried to soothe the distraught robot and took him by the hand. "If you're hungry, then I'll take you somewhere where you can eat the finest food under the sea. Have you ever had a krabby patty?"

Gir immediately stopped his crying and cheerfully asked, "Is it made out of moose?"

"Ah, no I don't think so," Sandy nervously responded then eagerly changed the subject. "C'mon Gir, you can meet my best friend Spongebob."

zzz

With his spider legs whirling behind him Zim turned on a bright light on top of his invisible helmet and bravely headed toward the bottom of the sea. Deeper and deeper Zim trekked into this complete new territory. At first, the environment was exactly as he expected; all except for not feeling any stinging sensation he was certain he would have been experiencing by now from the acidy earth water. Rather to his surprise the water was cool to his skin. In fact it was down right clammy; it was murky too, and the only area that was lit was where the beam of his light would shine, but painful? Not really.

'This isn't so bad,' he thought to himself. 'Now if I can just avoid the sharks and those squids…oh I don't want to start thinking about _that_ again…' he quickly reminded himself.

However the further he went down into the ocean, its atmosphere seemed to brighten up a bit. 'Hey, this isn't how the ocean milieu is supposed to be; it should be getting darker, not lighter; it should be getting colder not warmer. And what _are_ those funny flowery looking things floating above me like clouds?'

He finally landed his spider legs onto the ocean bed and looked around in total amazement. "This can't be right! It should be a dark and dreary place down here!"

Zim then stooped low to avoid being seen stretching his metallic spider legs out across the sand as he crept over to a hillside and read the sign which was a life preserver hung on a bamboo stick. "Bikini Bottom, aye?"

From that vantage point, he noticed what could only be a small little town sitting peacefully on the ocean floor and to his amazement, its aquatic life looked and acted almost exactly like the humans on land!

This sight made Zim's head practically spin. "Fish aren't supposed to walk on their fins, they swim with them! And they don't have hair, and they don't wear clothes either!" It took him a good minute or two before he came to accept what his eyes were seeing. Angrily shook his fist into the "air".

"Curse you National Geographic! Curse you Discovery Channel! You lied to me! LIED, LIED, LIED! Unless…" he suddenly paused as if he had just had an epiphany.

"I see now, the humans are only a decoy to distract attention away from the true master species of this planet. Oh-ho but I Zim, am far too clever to be fooled so easily." He began to cackle evilly as he backed away from the hillside in order not to be spotted.

"First, I must find my cruiser, then my package, then I'll study these creatures and…oh I guess I'll look for Gir too. No wait, first I'll find my package, then study these creatures, then repair the cruiser, then look for Gir, No, no. I know, first I'll study these creatures, then I'll…find my cruiser and repair it, but wait I will probably need Gir to help me with that."

Zim stopped for a minute to clear his head. "Alright, FIRST, I'll stop talking to myself out loud, and then I'll go look for Gir."

"One thing is for certain, I mustn't let these sea creatures see me here, I must…" But then out of no where a large pink starfish wearing green and purple swimming trunks came charging at him with an enormous boulder in his hands.

"Spider!" Patrick began to yell as he seemed to stretch his arms out at least five or six feet and began to pummel Zim into the ground with the boulder.

"Spider! Spider, spider, spider!" he kept yelling as he pounded Zim with the rock over and over. Zim was caught completely off guard and could do nothing but take the beating.

"Ow!" the rock came crashing down on Zim again.

"My head!" he yelled just before Patrick hit him with the boulder again and again. "Ow! My Back!…Stop!…Oh the pain!…that's my…squiggly squooch…you're pounding…Gir…HELP!"


	4. Chapter 4

CH4

Gir followed Sandy into the Krusty Krab without question and walked up to the counter to order.

"Welcome to the Krusty Krab," Squidward groaned to Sandy and Gir, looking as enthused as he ever did as he huffed in disgust and hovered over the cash register. "May I take your order?"

"I want rubber underpants! Extra stretchy!" Gir pleasantly requested. Sandy and Squidward both looked down at the bizarre little robot in confusion.

"Sorry, we're fresh out of extra stretchy rubber underpants," Squidward mocked. Gir then put his hands on his hips and began studying the posted menu. "OK, I'll have…um….chicken toes."

"There's NO chicken toes on the menu, _shiny_." Squidward than thought about what he had just called Gir, "Humph, 'shiny', ugh-ha-ugh-ha-ugh-ha," he nasally giggled.

Gir had a puzzled look on his face. "No Chicken toes? Then I guess I'll just have a nice glass of shampoo."

Squidward just stood there starring at him for a moment. "Do you want to whale size your shampoo _sir_?"

"We'll just have two krabby patties Squidward," Sandy interrupted. "And a couple of sodas."

Suddenly Spongebob appeared behind Squidward from the kitchen window, smiling cheerfully like a bright yellow square sun full of holes. "Who's your new friend Sandy?"

"Come out here for a minute Spongebob," Sandy excitedly insisted with a smile as big as Texas. "I want you to meet Gir." In an instant Spongebob swung open the kitchen doors and popped out to meet Sandy's new friend.

"Gir," Sandy began the introductions. "This is Spongebob; Spongebob this is…" but before she could finish, the pant wearing yellow sponge gasped in fear and pointed at Gir in terror. "It's a ro…ro…ro…robot!"

Sandy chuckled and took Spongebob over to the side. "I don't think he's really a robot Spongebob; robots aren't quite so…umm, well what I mean is robots aren't as, you know…well they're not…ummm…"

"…Stupid?" Squidward rudely finished her sentence.

"I think maybe he's just a little kid pretending to be a robot," Sandy offered as an explanation. Just then Gir got on all fours and began to chase his make believe tail. Then suddenly plopped down on his rump lifted his leg and began to lick his crotch.

"A very seriously _disturbed_ little kid," Squidward only halfway mocked.

"I dunno Sandy," Spongebob whispered as he kept a suspicious eye on the metal maniac. "He sure looks like a robot to me, and everyone knows that robots are _dangerous_! They're always trying to take over the world or something!"

"Oh Spongebob relax," Sandy reassured him with a smile. "Tell ya what, if he starts any trouble I'll just karate chop him in half alright?"

Just then Gir stopped his licking and shot straight up to his feet; his eyes glowing bright red once more. "I must go help my master!" and in an instant his feet turned to jets and he flew out of the restaurant in a flash.

"_Still_ think he's not a robot?" Spongebob ridiculed Sandy as she stood there with her mouth hung wide open.

"Well don't just stand there," the squirrel snapped to her senses. "We gotta stop the metallic critter before he takes over the world!"


	5. Chapter 5

CH5

It only took Gir a few seconds to find his helpless master and not a moment too soon as far as Zim was concerned. The little red eyed robot flew at Patrick, smashing the boulder he held over his head. Patrick stood there in dismay as tiny pebbles rained down on his head and suddenly he began to cry.

"My home! You broke my lovely little home!"

Zim staggered slowly to his feet, carefully retracting his metallic arachnid limbs. The first thing he noticed was that one of his spider legs was sorely bent out of shape and he needed to shove it back into place.

"Oh that's gonna leave a mark," he complained aloud as he began to examine the rest of the damage Patrick had done to him. He then noticed the starfish was crying like a baby.

"See what happens when you dare to confront a great warrior such as me?" Zim boasted forgetting about his pain. "I never lose in a fight, my strategy is cunning I am an unbeatable opponent; I AM ZIM!"

Gir then landed on his feet next to Zim and began to tightly squeeze his great and mighty leader. "I'm so glad I saved you master!"

"Gir, Gir, let go of me," Zim struggled to breathe. "You're crushing me."

Gir quickly let go of Zim and began to tell him of all he had been doing while they had been apart. "I saw a squirrel who was wearing a space suit, and she was jumping like this, and yelling 'hi-ya' all the time. It was very interesting."

"No Gir," Zim lectured. "You didn't see a squirrel. Squirrels are land creatures, and they certainly don't know karate."

But the moment he said that, a huge moon boot came from nowhere, crashing squarely into his chest and knocked him back to the ground.

"I stand corrected," he humbly admitted staring up at the flowery clouds.

"Look at it!" Squidward recoiled at the sight of Zim. "It's a hideous alien!"

Zim desperately tried to stand to his feet and at least make an attempt to convince everyone he was no alien. "No, no I'm no hideous alien…I'm a normal aquatic sea creature just like you. Hey, wait a second…who are you calling hideous? You're not so hot looking yourself you know." Just then Spongebob came running up to join his friends. He was obviously carrying something behind his back.

"What took you so long?" Sandy stood there giving the sponge an impatient glare, tapping her foot in the sand.

"I wasn't going to go into battle without this…" suddenly Spongebob pulled out a large spray can that was nearly as big was he was with the words 'ROBOT AWAY' printed on the label. "…my economy size can of robot repellent!"

Immediately he began spraying Gir with the can, only to have Gir yank it out of his hands and began spraying under his arm pits like it was deodorant, and then sprayed it directly into his face with his eyes wide open. Gir then began to leap around yelling and screaming for joy, "YEA! It burns!"

"Tell me something you midget sized Marian," Squidward mocked. "Did coming down here break you robot, or has he always been like this?"

"No, he's always been like this;" Zim sadly admitted then nervously added. "Oh but no, he's not a robot and I'm certainly NOT a Marian, I'm just a nice, normal average sea creature."

"Well if yer a sea creature," Sandy asked suspiciously, "Just what are you?"

Zim could feel himself begin to sweat as he desperately tried to think of a lie. "I…am a…mackerel…and I was-s-s-s…caught…in a…fish-er-man's-s-s net…an-n-n-d…a….I escaped…and-d-d-d…a…this is how-w-w…I…c-c-c-ame out." He then dropped his head in shame and looked up pitifully at them, hoping someone would believe his sad story.

"You're pretty big for a mackerel aren't you?" Squidward remarked suspiciously.

"Why yes," Zim's prideful demeanor suddenly returned. "Yes I am."

"Well that doesn't explain why you have a robot," Spongebob argued still unwilling to believe Zim's made up story.

"Oh, well you see, um, he's my pet…um, sardine. Yeah…" he paused long enough to see if so far this much of the story made sense; if not to them then at least to him.

"…and he…got himself…canned…an-n-n-nd we don't know…how to get him out." He stopped right there and held his breath, silently congratulating himself for coming up with such a clever pack of lies. Suddenly everyone he was trying to convince lowered their defenses as they came to believe his stories.

"O-o-oh," they unanimously said at the same time. Then Sandy walked up to him and gave him a hearty slap on the back.

"Well all that makes perfect sense to me. Welcome to Bikini Bottom! This here is Squidward, and that's Patrick over there picking up what's left of his house; and this is my best friend Spongebob!"

"Yes, yes, yes, greetings to you all, my name is Zim," he impolitely brushed her off. "Now please tell me, where would I find a package that was sent here by mistake?"

"Have you checked the post office?" Squidward rudely mentioned.

"Post office aye?" Zim's red eyes glowed with delight. "You fools! Once I have my anti-gravitation apparatus, not even your precious under-water-world will be safe! HA-HA-HA-HA!" He then jumped on Gir's back. "Gir, take me to this post office at once!"

He then paused and humbly asked for directions. "Where exactly is this post office?" Everyone in the group began yelling over each other as they each started giving him their own directions to get there but all of this was getting Zim very confused.

Finally Sandy drew him a map. "Here, this will get you there in no time."

"Thank you female squirrel who should be living in a tree on dry land," Zim gratefully accepted Sandy's map then quickly returned to his arrogant self. "You fools! Once I have my anti-gravitation apparatus…"

"You already said that," Squidward reminded him in an annoyed tone.

"Oh yeah, I forgot," Zim then turned his attention back to Gir who's eyes now glowed bright red.

"Follow this map to the post office Gir!" and in a flash the robot's jets were once again ablaze and together they took off in a rush.


	6. Chapter 6

CH6

Zim and Gir literally burst the door down as they flew into the Bikini Bottom post office. "Give me my anti-gravitation apparatus this instant!"

"We don't actually know what's in the mail sir, we just deliver it;" a fishy postal worker snootily commented to Zim. Then suddenly a voice could be heard coming from the back of the post office.

"Hey Bill, Mrs. Grouper is sending some of her famous algae cookies to her nephew again."

The postal worker who had been talking to Zim then turned around and yelled back at the voice, "Save some for me; hey I know, we can eat them while we're watching those foreign films somebody sent to Pearl Krabs yesterday."

He then turned his attention back to Zim, "Besides you have to take a number and have a seat like everyone else _sir_," the fishy postal worker rudely explained.

"Oh, very well," a frustrated Zim stood on his tip-toes and reached for a numbered ticket and quietly found a secluded seat. He looked at his ticket to see its number, -275. Then he looked at the ticket counter to see what number was currently being served, -05.

He sighed and rolled his eyes; Zim then noticed Gir was busy playing on his portable 'game-buddy'.

"Gir!" Zim harshly snapped his robot's name but got no response other than a gruff grunt to let him know Gir didn't appreciate being interrupted when he was playing his game.

"Gir!" he put his hands on his hips and angrily repeated.

"What!" Gir threw a temper tantrum by stomping his foot on the ground.

"Switch that over to two player mode, we're going to be here a while." Zim then held out his hand and demanded the game-buddy. "Give it to me Gir, you know I'm ALWAYS player one."

After a long wait Zim's number was finally called. He stood up and winced a bit, feeling the blood rush back into his butt he walked slowly to the window.

"May I help you sir," the same fishy postman solemnly asked behind the window.

"Yes," Zim tried his best to sound pleasant and unassuming. "I'm here to pick up a package that was sent here by mistake."

"O…K…" the fishy postman responded dryly. "If it was a mistake, then how do you know it was sent here?"

"My robot, umm, I mean my pet sardine is certain that it's here," Zim tried to explain without telling more than he should.

"Fine…" the postman huffed not really listening to any of Zim's story. "What's the name on the package?"

"Zim," he spoke his name with great pride.

"Zim…what?" the fishy postman impatiently asked.

"Hmmm?" for a moment Zim didn't understand the question. "Oh I understand this question you are asking me now; the name on the package will be just Zim."

"Just _Zim_?" the fish rudely mocked.

Feeling more than just a bit offended, Zim repeated. "Just _Zim_? Humph, once I have my package you'll live to learn that the name Zim needs nothing else. Zim and Zim alone is equivalent to destruction, doom and death!"

"Well if you're name is equivalent to destruction, doom and death doesn't that mean I won't live long enough to learn any of that…" the postman mocked. ".._sir_?"

Zim paused for a moment rubbing his chin and squinting one eye. "Hmmm, you have a point," he confessed. "But that doesn't change the fact that my name is equivalent to destruction, doom and death. Not to mention, it's comparable to mighty, great, superior, and…"

"Here's your package sir," the snooty fishlike post man never left his station as he just seemed to reach under the counter and have it in his hand. "But since you don't actually live at the address written on the box, you'll have to show some sort of ID before I hand this package to you."

"Oh of course," Zim cheerfully smiled and reached into his pocket but found nothing inside.

"Curses! I must have left my intergalactic spaceship driver's license back on the Voot cruiser. Can't you just give it to me, p-l-e-a-s-e?" Zim tried his best to look innocent and sweet but to no avail. In an instant huge and heavy metal bars came crashing down between Zim and his package.

"No ID, no package!" the fishy postman demanded throwing his package into a vault and quickly locked its door.

A very frustrated Zim left the post office with a sympathetic Gir following close behind. "Don't look so glum Master; it's not the end of the world."

"That's precisely the problem Gir," Zim woefully reminded him. "It's supposed to be the end of the world, and I'm the one who's supposed to end it! But how can I without any of my tech? I can't even retrieve my package from this watery post office? At the rate I'm going, both Red and Purple will have turned grey by the time I have this world under my thumb." The two strangers walked aimlessly along the sandy streets with no real idea where they were heading. Then much to Zim and Gir's surprise a strange and creepy voice came from nowhere.

"Hello friend," the voice said.

"Who said that?" Zim demanded to know. "Who dares to call me _friend_?"

"It is I, your humble servant Plankton," the voice spoke ever so charmingly. The voice seemed to be very close but neither Zim nor Gir saw anyone around.

"Plankton aye?" Zim wondered curiously. "Where are you?"

"I'm right here," the creepy voice replied sugary sweet.

"Where?" Zim repeated sounding a little confused.

"Right here," the voice repeated reassuringly.

"Here?" Zim asked as he began walking to the other side of the street.

"No, you're going the wrong way," Plankton explained.

"Oh, how about now?" the alien asked as he changed his direction.

"No over here," the invisible voice was beginning to loose its sweet charm.

Zim took a step backwards, "Over here you say?"

"No," the voice was now sounding very irritable. "Just come back to the side of the street where you first heard my voice."

"Well why didn't you just say that the first time," Zim huffed and stomped back to the other side of the street. "Am I any closer NOW?"

"Yes, you're almost here; just a little closer," the excited voice was now clearer.

"How about here?" Gir added in as he too looked for the location from where the voice came.

"A little bit closer…wait, wait, not too close! Ugh!" the voice suddenly gave out a painful cry. Gir bent down and gingerly picked off a tiny green one eyed bug looking thing from his metal foot.

"Ooh, you _are_ small! You're gonna need some really small band-aids. Do they even make band-aids that small?" Gir wondered as he lifted up this miniscule creature to speak at eye level with his master.

"Small indeed," Zim remarked with a tone of distaste apparently unmoved by the sea creature's recent run in with Gir's foot. "Speak your peace small thing, I haven't got all day."

Plankton wasted no time brushing off his pain and began to make Zim an offer he hoped the stranger couldn't refuse.

"I heard you talking to your robot about destroying the world and just let me say that I like your thinking! But I also heard you say that you're having some trouble getting this feat done," the small sea creature paused for Zim response.

Meanwhile, as the two evil doers bent on world domination continued there conversation, Gir came up with what he thought was brilliant idea to help mend their tiny new friend. "I know!" he thought out loud to no one listening, then reached inside his head and began to rummage around for something.

"Go on," Zim said cautiously, ignoring Gir's attentions entirely.

"Well say I get this package you want so badly in exchange for something I'm wanting just as much? That sounds fair doesn't it?" Plankton said temptingly as he too ignored the robot. Zim's eyes narrowed a bit.

"And just how does a puny little creature such as you plan to get this package of mine?" he smugly wondered.

Meanwhile, Gir took his hand out of his head and began to chew on the wad of used chewing gum he had been saving with still no one paying the least bit of attention to him.

"Simple my friend," Plankton went on to explain. "You have your robot and I have my _army_ of robots!" he then added a sinister laugh. "Ha-ha-ha!"

"Robot?" Zim denied. "I have no robot. This is my pet sardine in a can."

"Ri-i-i-ght," Plankton said with a wink and a smile.

Meanwhile, Gir was now ready to put his plan into motion. He spit out the gum and squished it to flatten it; then stuck a bit of used tissue onto it and slapped it right onto Plankton covering him up entirely. "Now you won't have to find those very small band-aids!"

Plankton's yelling was completely muffled by the heavy wad of chewed up gum that covered his mouth (and body) entirely but the jest of what he was saying seemed pretty clear by the way he was shaking his fists and kicking like a maniac.

"Gir," Zim snapped angrily. "Remove that rubbery sticky substance from this puny creature at once; he may prove to be of great use to me."

Gir wasted no time yanking the gum from Plankton who let out a painful scream. "Aaagh! You metallic moron, if I was your master I'd chop you into little bits and I then would throw you into a furnace and…" he then quickly looked up at Zim expecting his sudden burst of outrage might the strange think twice before making any deals.

"…I-I mean that was so thoughtful of you to try and help me that way, but its just that I always have the darnedest times getting gum out of my tentacles. Now whadda ya say pal," he turned his attention back to Zim. "Think we can do business?"

"And just what would your terms be?" Zim asked coolly.

"It's not much really, especially when you compare it to destroying the world;" Plankton tried to humbly explain. "All I want is just one krabby patty; that's all. Just meet me back here in one hour with a krabby patty and I'll hand your package over to you. Wadda you say friend?" he added with a wink and a smile.

"Eh?" Zim cocked his head in total confusion. "What the heck is a krabby patty?"

"What the heck is a krabby patty you say!" Plankton's eyes became enormous as he repeated Zim's words in shock. "It's only the tastiest, the most mouth watering, the most delicious hunk of fried meat you'll ever eat!" he explained with lustful eyes and drool seeping from the corner of his mouth.

"Meat!" Zim closed his eyes as a look of dread came over him. "Why does it ALWAYS have to be meat!" He seemed to ask no one unparticular. Finally after a moment or two of feeling sorry for himself, Zim halfhearted agreed to Plankton's deal.

"Very well I'll get this krabby patty and I hope you enjoy it, you insignificant…bug thing or…or…whatever you are…because it will be the last thing you will ever eat! Ha-ha-ha-ha!"

Plankton's face suddenly grew dark and somber as he realized how grave the situation was. "Well in that case…" then instantly his face brightened. "Make it a double krabby patty with cheese!"


	7. Chapter 7

CH7

"I should have known you would know where we could find this 'krabby patty'," Zim sneered as they approached the Krusty Krab.

They walked into the under water eating establishment and quickly spotted those they had met on the outskirts of the town beside the 'Bikini Bottom' sign.

"Stay focused Gir," Zim sharply reminded his robot. "We are here only to obtain this krabby patty and not to socialize."

Gir's eyes turned bright red. "Affirmative Master."

But just as they were about to have Squidward take their order, Patrick started yelling, "Spider!" and began to pull the bolted down table from the floor.

"Get away from me you deranged pink pentacle!" Zim defensively jumped on top of a table top ready to fight.

"Patrick, stop!" Spongebob rushed out of the kitchen to calm the situation. "Leave this poor mackerel alone Patrick. Don't you think he's been through enough being disfigured by a fisherman's net and all?"

"Oh yeah, I forgot," Patrick dropped the table looking very sorry at Zim. He then came close to Zim and started to yell, "Hey mister, I'm really, really, _really_ sorry that I thought you were a spider!"

Spongebob began to chastise his starfish friend, "Patrick, he's deformed, not deaf."

"I AM now," Zim quietly mentioned as he listened to the ringing in his ears.

Patrick turned an even brighter shade of pink and smiled sheepishly. He then leaned into Zim once again and yelled even louder than before, "Sorry I yelled at you lil' guy!"

"Desist from your high volumes of speech at once you dim witted invertebrate!" Zim demanded very irritably while Gir began to laugh hysterically at the situation.

"What he say?" Patrick looked at Spongebob hoping he could translate the stranger's unusual form of communication. Spongebob shrugged his shoulders.

"I dunno Patrick, but mackerels sure are uppity!" Spongebob distastefully noted.

Just then Mr. Krabs came out of the manager's office and looked around his restaurant. "What's all this commotion Spongebob? And why aren't these two new customers eating any delicious krabby patties?" he asked impatiently. "There's no loitering here boys, you either buy something or you have to leave!"

"Ah, yes then," Zim tried to regain his composure as he stepped down from the table top. "We'll take a double krabby patty with cheese to go and make sure it's in a very sturdy container; preferably a steel lock box. I don't want to touch it, or feel its disgusting oozing grease dripping from the wrapper; I don't even want to smell the detestable thing!"

"Detestable!" Spongebob gasped in dismay. "How can you say such cruel lies about the krabby patty? What did it ever do to you?"

"Nothing," Gir eagerly explained. "He's never even had one."

"Never had one?" Mister Krabs repeated. "Why laddy, you can't judge a patty until you tasted one."

"Yes, I can!" Zim flatly insisted. "I do it all the time."

"Well I can't have you ruining the good name of my krabby patties so tell you what I'm gonna do; I'll let you have one on the house, and I'll only charge you full price for it. Now doesn't that sound like a tempting deal?" Mister Krabs offered in his usual miserly fashion.

"Ooh-ooh-ooh! I want something too!" Gir began to jump up and down annoyingly.

"No Gir, we haven't time," his master reminded him in a huff.

"But I'm hungry!" the robot angrily insisted.

"I said no Gir," Zim kept a cool head and a firm hand.

"But I'm hun…I'm hun…hungry!" the robot began to bitterly sob. "Wah!"

"Oh there, there, lil' guy;" Mr. Krabs soothed in a grandfatherly way as he gently patted Gir on the head and took him over to get a good look at the menu. "We've got all kinds of yummy good stuff for you. What would you like?"

Instantly the robot stopped his crying; his cyan eyes turned a slight greener with greed as he began to name off several of the food items he saw on the menu. "I'll have a krabby patty with cheese, a large order of barnacles, a mini krabby patty with extra pickles…"

Gir ordered to his heart's desire while a frustrated Zim just leaned on the counter waiting for him to finish. When he was done, the order easily could have easily filled two bags full.

"And I made an extra special patty for you Zim," Spongebob kindly offered as he handed the burger to the alien.

"Here, doesn't that just make your mouth water?" Zim looked down at the circular mound of meat.

"No, my eyes!" he quickly corrected as he continued to stare at the patty in horror. "Yuck! Now I'm going to be sick all day."

Spongebob scratched his head in confusion. "I don't understand, no one can resist a krabby patty -not even Squidward; unless…" he then looked up at Zim accusingly. "…unless they're not from this world!"

Zim noticed that everyone in the restaurant stopped to stare at him, suspecting Spongebob may be right. "Nonsense, I don't know what you're talking about. I just um, well, I already ate and…"

"No you didn't." Gir quickly corrected him as he continued to shove fried barnacles in his mouth.

"Good going, Gir!" Zim said through clinched teeth.

"Oh c'mon laddy," Mister Krabs insisted. "It won't kill ya." Zim gulped realizing he was caught between a rock and a hard place.

"Are you absolutely sure?" he then took a deep breath and tried to grab the burger in his hand.

'C'mon Zim, you can do this,' he silently encouraged himself. 'Oh, but it's so icky. I think I'm going to hurl, and I haven't even tasted it yet.'

He then looked at the crowd of fishy people who had gathered around to watch him and he knew had had no choice but to eat the wretched thing.

'I'll just take a bite, and then I will leave here and never ever look back.' He slowly put it to his wide open mouth and just held it there as he tried to force himself to take a bite. 'Maybe I don't have to destroy the world after all; maybe I can just tell everyone that I am an alien. How bad can living out the rest of my life in a laboratory be? Surely not as bad as this…'

"Oh just get on with it," Squidward groaned impatiently. Zim finally took the bite and much to his surprise managed to even keep it in his mouth. He tried very hard to appear to chew it but without having to actually touch his tongue or even taste it.

"Hmmm," his sad attempt to sound enthused sounded more like a moan for help. "I can't recall the last time I ate something that tasted quite like this before."

"Pretty good huh? Huh?" Spongebob nudged Zim in the ribs with a bright smile.

"Pretty…something," Zim admitted as his green skin turn a pale shade of yellow. Now the moment that Zim was dreading the most had arrived. He so desperately wanted to just spit the chewed up food out of his mouth but knew there was no chance for that. No, he was going to have to swallow it, keep it down and even worse, pretend to like it. He held his breath, closed his eyes, and bravely forced the mangled meat down his throat. "Delicious!" he gagged. "I'll have to," …choke, "tell all my friends about," …gag, "this." A round of applause and cheers went up in the room as Spongebob danced about and Krabs did a little Irish jig. "He-he, it does me wallet good to see a happy customer."

Zim quickly seized the moment and grabbed Gir by the hand rushing him toward the door.

"Come Gir," he barked his commands. "This Plankton better have my anti-gravitation apparatus after what I just put myself through!" But the instant Mister Krabs heard him say "Plankton" he stopped his merry jig.

"What did you say?" The crab roared in anger. Zim didn't need to learn any of the history between Krabs and Plankton to understand it couldn't be good.

"Mush Gir!" he ordered as he jumped on his robot's back.

"Yes Master!" the red eyed robot quickly complied and turned himself into a rocket only to have his turn cyan as they zoomed away. "Can we come back here again? I want to bring Pig and Moose here sometime."

"No Gir," Zim insisted.

"But please," Gir childishly begged.

"I said no," Zim irritably reminded his robot.

"P-l-e-a-s-e," Gir started to whine.

"Alright, maybe after we destroy the world," Zim compromised. "But only if you're good."

"Oakey-dokey!" the little robot chirped as they made their way back to Plankton.


	8. Chapter 8

CH8

"Quick, call the police! Call the navy!" Mister Krabs urged.

But Spongebob was already ahead of him. "Um, Mister Krabs the police put me on hold and the Navy said they had to get permission from congress before they can send any ships out here."

"Well then I guess I'll just have to protect me own property! Alright people, after 'em!" Krabs yelled expecting everyone in the restaurant to rely to his aid. "There stealing me secret recipe for making krabby patties!"

"Um, I'm on my lunch break," one of his customers politely explained. "And I have to get back to work now."

"Yah and I have to go home and water my plants," another explained.

"And I can't drag my children into a fight," said another.

"And I just ate a really big meal and…"

"Alright, alright!" Mister Krabs snapped. "Fine, guess it's up to us then boys," he said referring to Squidward and Spongebob.

Suddenly Spongebob was wearing an army helmet as he stood at attention and saluting. "I'm ready, I'm ready -to go kick some mackerel butt Mister Krabs!"

Squidward just stared blankly at him and Krabs, "You going to give us combat pay for this right?"

"No," Mister Krabs sharply explained. "But I'll have you keelhauled if ya don't get that krabby patty before that green little monster hands it over to Plankton!"

"Good enough," Squidward concluded and put a colander over his head. "I knew I should have never left band camp."

"Well don't I get to come too?" Patrick pitifully asked Mister Krabs.

"'Course ya can Patrick," Krabs happily invited him to come along. "We need all the help we can get stopping that swindling little shyster."

"Shyster," Patrick repeated curiously. "I thought he was a mackerel."

zzz

Gir made it to the rendezvous point and Zim jumped off without haste. He looked around for the tiny green invertebrate and saw no one in sight. "I have returned with your disgusting krabby patty. Where are you, puny little bug thing?"

From out of the shadows Plankton appeared, "here I am, my friend and here's your package." He motioned for one of his robot minions to appear, holding a long thin object wrapped in what looked to be regular brown wrapping paper.

"Very good," Zim remarked well pleased. "Hand it over."

"Not so fast," Plankton flatly insisted. "First, hand over the patty and then I'll hand you the package."

"No!" Zim argued. "First you hand over my package, and then I'll hand over the patty!"

"Sorry _dear pal_, but I just don't know if I can trust you," Plankton smoothly explained.

"And I don't know if I can trust you," Zim plainly replied.

"So are we just going to stand here all day?" Plankton crudely asked.

"Doubtful," Zim explained smugly. "As you can see my pet sardine is holding your krabby patty." Gir held up a white paper bag in his hand indicating the burger was inside.

"And…" Plankton impatiently snapped.

"And he's always hungry." Zim said with an evil smile.

But instead of threatening to pop the burger into his mouth as Zim was expecting, Gir flopped down on his butt and groaned. "Oh no master, I couldn't eat another bite."

Suddenly Mister Krabs along with his gang came rushing toward Gir, "Hold it right there! If you hand that krabby patty over to Plankton, vacuumed packed or not, I'll personally rip that metal can off yer hide boy, then I'll keep rippin' yer skin off til there's nothin' left but bone!" Gir then tried to stand up but lost his balance and accidentally dropped the krabby patty as he began to throw up.

"NO!" Krabs yelled as he saw the bag hit the ground; the krabby patty inside came rolling out and headed straight for Plankton. Mister Krabs then yelled what could only be described as a barbaric battle cry and made a mad dash for the patty. But suddenly Plankton's robot army swarmed the area, blocking Krabs or anyone else from taking another step closer to the master; allowing Plankton the chance to finally get his hands on a krabby patty.

"Stop throwing up this instant Gir! Can't you see you're not helping!" Zim ordered as he ignored the others altogether and tried to get to his precious package instead. But the robot holding the package, merely held it high up in the air, and put his other arm out to hold Zim at bay. Gir meanwhile could do nothing else but lean over the curb of the street and spew what seemed to be gallon of vomit from his mouth.

"At last, at last!" Plankton cheered for joy as he picked up the patty that was still neatly wrapped and held it in the air. "It's finally mine!"

"Don't worry Mister Krabs, I'll get that krabby patty away from Plankton!" Spongebob bravely declared as he tried to squeeze between two large robots. But of course the robots easily overpowered Spongebob, picking him up and started to pull him apart. "Too bad that lil sardine fellow used up the last of my robot repellent, oh well."

"Let's see if I can't soothe these robots to sleep," Squidward suggested as he pulled out his clarinet and began to play way off key.

"Squidward stop!" Spongebob shouted as the robots began to get even more violent.

"You're just making them madder!" But Squidward had no choice in the matter as a different robot came over and pulled the clarinet out of his hands then broke it in half and began beating him with one end.

"Humph, everyone's a critic," Afterward Squidward mentioned under his breath as he tried to remove a piece of the clarinet from his behind.

Patrick realized it was all up to him now. "OK everyone," he boldly announced. "It's all up to me now."

He climbed on top of a nearby dumpster and dove off throwing all his weight on his intended victim, Zim who was having no luck with getting his package away from the robot. "Ka-wa-bon-ga!" He landed squarely on Zim with a mighty thud.

Zim struggled to get out from under Patrick but could do little else. "You enjoy hurting me don't you?"

"Why yes, now that you mention it, it _is_ kinda fun." Patrick said with a thoughtful smile.

"Um Patrick," Spongebob kindly offered. "Do you think you could get off the mackerel and try to get that krabby patty away from Plankton instead? It would be kinda helpful."

"Oh, OK Spongebob," the slow starfish said as he got off of Zim and charged head first into one of the robots holding half of Spongebob to the ground. But the robot who was holding the other half of Spongebob stuck out his foot making Patrick tumble to the ground.

"Owee, owee, owee! I got a boo-boo!" Patrick wailed and cried in pain, lifting up his leg and began to suck on his kneecap.

Gir sat up long enough to watch this and rolled his cyan colored eyes. "What a baby!"


	9. Chapter 9

CH9

Plankton smiled ever so arrogantly as he watched his enemies easily conquered. "Ha-ha-ha-ha! Victory is mine! Victory is mine! Sweet, sweet victory is at last all MINE!"

"Gee, I'm glad I don't sound so ridiculous," Zim remarked as he slowly rose to his feet. "Well you have your krabby patty so just give me what is mine and I'll be on my way."

"I have a better idea," Plankton snickered evilly and ordered one of his robots to grab Zim. "How about I keep what's inside your package, and take the world over for myself."

"Take over the world?" Krabs asked almost hopefully. "Sure, he-he-he; that sounds like a terrific idea Plankton. But best you leave that krabby patty alone then; you don't want to take on such a big project as takin' over the world after you've stuffed yourself right?"

"Nice try Krabs," Plankton shook his head. "But I still plan on ruling fast food industry as well, and I'm going to use your krabby patty to do it." Then the miniaturized villain's face was come over with impious desire as his thoughts turned to his luscious prize.

"Hmmm, say Eugene, think I'll just open this up and have a little nibble right here so you can watch." Plankton cruelly teased.

"No, please I'm beggin' ya," Mister Krabs whimpering pleas fell on deaf ears. Plankton evilly cackled and smiled, relishing every moment of misery he brought to Eugene Krabs. But as he opened the paper to reveal the wonderful, delicious krabby patty his gleeful expression turned to shock then rage as he lifted up a pair of bunched up dirty, smelly black socks. "What the…!"

"HA-HA-HA-HA! Who's smiling now you puny bug thing!" Zim now took an arrogant stance and gloated. "No one double crosses Invader Zim! NO ONE! Now Gir!" he commanded at the top of his lunges. "-attack mode number 96!"

Gir forgot all about his sick stomach as his eyes once more turned warlike red and blasted off into attack mode. Plankton and the rest of the sea creatures quickly learned that Plankton's minion robots were no match for the speedy and quick thinking red eyed Gir. With lightening speed he blasted the other robots in smithereens then zoomed toward the robot holding Zim's package and snatched it from the robot with ease before blasting him as well. He immediately returned to his master's side and at last proudly handed him the item they had searched so hard for. However instead of congratulating him for a job well done, Zim began to chastise.

"Gir, I told you to use attack mode 96. Clearly that was attack mode 69!"

"You sure?" his robot wondered then pulled out his attack mode manual.

"Look Master, that _was_ attack mode 96; see it says so right here," he pointed to the number on one of the pages.

"No Gir, that's not number 96, its 69. You have your book upside down again." Zim said condescendingly as he took Gir's book away from him and turned it around for him.

"Oh," the humbled robot sheepishly giggled.

"Well never mind about that now," Zim began to monolog. "Victory is mine! Victory is mine! At last, sweet, sweet victory is finally mine! Hmmm, for some reason that sounds vaguely familiar, oh well."

Zim now eagerly began to unwrap his package and finally unveiled his anti-gravitation apparatus that he so rightfully deserved. He stared at it for a moment not entirely sure if he was seeing what he actually saw. It was a long thin cylinder object, about three feet long with pedals for his feet on one end and a handle for him to hold onto on the other. Gradually, as everyone else realized what Zim was holding snickered and giggled.

"A pogo stick?" Mister Krabs mocked. "You're going to destroy the world with a pogo stick?"

Now everyone was heartily laughing. "I-I haven't seen one of those since I was a squidling!" Squidward commented as he slapped one of his thighs and laughed.

"You really do call your young 'squidlings'?" Zim stopped to remark before remembering just how infuriating this situation had become.

"You dare laugh at your very doom? Pitiful fools! This is a lethal weapon, not a child's play thing. Prepare yourselves for destruction you dreadful sea creatures! Just watch! I'll show you!" He then studied the device and carefully got on. "OK, these pedals must activate it somehow; I'll just get on here…" he carefully put one foot on a pedal. "…and try this," he put his other foot on the other pedal. "…and see if this doesn't turn it on."

Quickly he began to loose his balance and instinctively he tried to regain it by moving his weight around. This motion he caused made the, ahem, 'anti-gravitation apparatus' function but not quite the way Zim was expecting. Instantly he discovered that he and only he was rising into the air and nothing else. Jump after jump Zim continued to leap uncontrollably away from the crowd and out into the wide open sea. Everyone followed after him watching to see what would happen next.

"Gir, how do I stop this crazy thing?" he asked in a frightened voice. But before Gir could come to his rescue Zim took a tremendous plunge and soared higher than he ever imagined.

"Wow! Look at him go!" Gir pointed up into the watery sky, "He just keeps going up and up and up."

"Yah, but what goes up, must come down." Mister Krabs solemnly reminded everyone.

Just then, Zim began to loose altitude and he found himself falling back to the hard flat sea bed at incredible speed while he yelled for dear life. "Gir-r-r-r!"

The next thing Zim knew, he was laying face down on the ground, his head spinning and the taste of his own blood in his mouth. He knew he blacked out for what he thought was a only moment or two but apparently it must have been longer.

"Zim!" he heard Dib roughly bark his name.

Zim slowly raised his head and looked around. He was no longer in the ocean as he believed, and it was becoming clear to him that he had never been. "Wha.."

"You have done some really stupid things Zim, but trying to get away from me by taking off on a pogo stick? What were you thinking?" Dib jeered as he stood over Zim with a smug look on his face. "I mean really Zim that was just –dumb."

Dib then turned and walked away from Zim, giving him one last disgusted glare before he left the alien alone on the sidewalk. Zim sat up gradually coming to his senses.

"I hate to agree with you, but in this case I must," he quietly said to Dib though he had long gone his way. Zim carefully stood up and brushed himself off as if he was brushing his dignity back into place, took the pogo stick in hand and quietly walked to his fortress. He walked in to see Gir was sitting next to his pet pig on the couch and began to look for the remote to the TV.

"Hey master," Gir happily called out to him. "Wanna watch some TV with us?"

"Not now Gir," Zim politely said as he found the remote and began to set the parental controls blocking out the "Nickelodeon Channel" entirely.

"I never want you to watch this channel again Gir; it's filled with nothing but useless garbage. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll be in the lower level I have a concussion that needs attending."

"OK master," Gir sweetly replied as he watched his master calmly walk away and step into the garbage can to make his way to the lower levels of his domain. Soon after Gir took the remote and turned the channel to "Cartoon Network".

"Don't worry Pig," he assured his favorite swine. "I bet I can get him to change his mind by next week. Now perk up; its time for Ed, Edd and Eddy!"

-THE END


End file.
